I grimace at the little bag in my lap, chocolate that was once decorated carefully, lovingly on the outside of my truffles, now smeared over the inside of the bag. Sweaty. Warm. Perhaps July wasn’t the right month to transport my homemade gift from Portsmouth to Birmingham in the backseat of the car in my […]
It’s a Saturday and it’s lockdown number two and plans for a socially distanced walk have been scuppered by the tentative, British November weather. The tentative, British November weather that means, by the time you’ve finished writing a message to your friend to say ‘It’s stopped raining!’, you’re interrupted by the pitter patter I used […]
“We’re here now,” Aaron muttered; glum, dejected, the coast of the postcard-ready town of St Ives spread before us, just like our holiday. “Don’t sound too happy about it,” I said. Or something similar. Whilst suppressing the bubbling urge to tell him off. Or at least roll my eyes. “It’s just,” Aaron explained, not for […]
In the UK, nothing breeds togetherness like binge-drinking. Drinking pint after pint of golden lager to dilute the tendencies we have to be a bit up-tight and so well-mannered that we’re actually a bit rude. Put simply, we’re a nation of suppressed, stoic individuals who need a beer to lighten up. Except that we’re so […]
The disc slices through the air and I marvel as it travels towards the sun, disappearing for a second, before it begins its downward journey and lands in my brother’s expecting hands. “99,” I announce, my eyes wide. The air around us is still as we silently postpone our celebrations with goofy smiles and clammy, […]
Hungover, a couple of weeks ago, Aaron and I were watching Joe Lycett’s Got Your Back. To Aaron’s utter dismay, they were investigating and shining a UV light on a Bournemouth hotel we had stayed in just over a year ago. Because nothing says a spontaneous, romantic getaway like an army of dead flies trapped […]
When this hangover has passed, I tell myself as I drain my glass of its water a little too hastily, I won’t have a drink for another week. Maybe two weeks actually. No, one week is fine. When this hangover has passed, I will go for a walk and listen to a podcast that will, […]
I rearranged my suitcase before kneeling on its top, willing the zip to budge. I took out a pair of shoes and two t-shirts. I knelt again, a bead of sweat falling from the top of my forehead and splashing onto the top of my suitcase. “You know if you just buy a Kindle you […]
The anticipation of waiting for an Amazon parcel has stepped up a notch since lockdown begun. Before, if I ended up being out somewhere or at work when a parcel was due, it was no biggie. The contents of that package was not the be all and end all. It was not the highlight of […]
06:45: Just ignore your alarm. You set that before you spent two hours and twenty-seven minutes chastising yourself for retiring from cart-wheeling and bending your body into a ‘crab’ every day back when you were nine. Had you continued your infant gymnastics, you wouldn’t have pulled the whole of your lower body while practicing the […]