An inebriated nation, a united nation

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In the UK, nothing breeds togetherness like binge-drinking. Drinking pint after pint of golden lager to dilute the tendencies we have to be a bit up-tight and so well-mannered that we’re actually a bit rude. Put simply, we’re a nation of suppressed, stoic individuals who need a beer to lighten up. Except that we’re so […]

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Throw-catch-throw-catch

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The disc slices through the air and I marvel as it travels towards the sun, disappearing for a second, before it begins its downward journey and lands in my brother’s expecting hands. “99,” I announce, my eyes wide. The air around us is still as we silently postpone our celebrations with goofy smiles and clammy, […]

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Damp toilet paper

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Hungover, a couple of weeks ago, Aaron and I were watching Joe Lycett’s Got Your Back. To Aaron’s utter dismay, they were investigating and shining a UV light on a Bournemouth hotel we had stayed in just over a year ago. Because nothing says a spontaneous, romantic getaway like an army of dead flies trapped […]

Continue Reading

An inebriated nation, a united nation


Uncategorized

In the UK, nothing breeds togetherness like binge-drinking. Drinking pint after pint of golden lager to dilute the tendencies we have to be a bit up-tight and so well-mannered that we’re actually a bit rude. Put simply, we’re a nation of suppressed, stoic individuals who need a beer to lighten up. Except that we’re so […]

August 31, 2020

Throw-catch-throw-catch


Uncategorized, Unkategorised

The disc slices through the air and I marvel as it travels towards the sun, disappearing for a second, before it begins its downward journey and lands in my brother’s expecting hands. “99,” I announce, my eyes wide. The air around us is still as we silently postpone our celebrations with goofy smiles and clammy, […]

August 2, 2020

Damp toilet paper


Uncategorized

Hungover, a couple of weeks ago, Aaron and I were watching Joe Lycett’s Got Your Back. To Aaron’s utter dismay, they were investigating and shining a UV light on a Bournemouth hotel we had stayed in just over a year ago. Because nothing says a spontaneous, romantic getaway like an army of dead flies trapped […]

July 25, 2020

When this hangover has passed


Kath's Kitchen

When this hangover has passed, I tell myself as I drain my glass of its water a little too hastily, I won’t have a drink for another week. Maybe two weeks actually. No, one week is fine. When this hangover has passed, I will go for a walk and listen to a podcast that will, […]

July 17, 2020

In defence of the Kindle


Kath's Bookshelf

I rearranged my suitcase before kneeling on its top, willing the zip to budge. I took out a pair of shoes and two t-shirts. I knelt again, a bead of sweat falling from the top of my forehead and splashing onto the top of my suitcase. “You know if you just buy a Kindle you […]

July 10, 2020

Arriving today by 8PM


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The anticipation of waiting for an Amazon parcel has stepped up a notch since lockdown begun. Before, if I ended up being out somewhere or at work when a parcel was due, it was no biggie. The contents of that package was not the be all and end all. It was not the highlight of […]

July 3, 2020

A day in the life of furlough


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06:45: Just ignore your alarm. You set that before you spent two hours and twenty-seven minutes chastising yourself for retiring from cart-wheeling and bending your body into a ‘crab’ every day back when you were nine. Had you continued your infant gymnastics, you wouldn’t have pulled the whole of your lower body while practicing the […]

June 26, 2020

Shall we order a takeaway?


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“Shall we order a takeaway?” Aaron asks me, about six hours before we would actually consider picking up the phone to place an order. Our eyes duet, moving in unison before they fall upon my most recent regrettable purchase. The bathroom scales. The scales that betrayed I Literally Cannot Put on Weight Even if I […]

June 19, 2020

The garden party


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“What happened when a French chef ended up working in an Italian?” I looked at my brother. “He made spaguettes.” Jordan grinned. “What course did the Italian sign up to because he had an interest in language?” This time I looked at my mum, willing her to make it stop, but Jordan had cycled 70 […]

June 12, 2020