If you know a runner, you may find that they take their Strava uploads extremely seriously. We know we shouldn’t. We might pretend that we don’t. We know that it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. But, deep down, we believe that it does.

Before our feet have even come to a halt, we’re hitting stop on our Garmin before double checking this morning’s mileage has synched, having safely made its way from Garmin Connect to Strava. Phew, it’s there; the world can see I was up and out the door before 7AM on a Sunday!

For the last mile or so of our run, we’ve been agonising over what we should name our shiny brand new entry because, as we all know, Strava’s automatic ‘Morning run’ (or similar) simply won’t cut it. Our title and description should be informative but relaxed. It needs to come across like we’ve not put too much thought into it, but it needs to evoke an emotional response from the viewer, whether it’s laughter, sympathy or – honestly? – a healthy bit of competition. We must appear humble whilst, at all costs, clearly addressing any barriers that impeded our chance to achieve The Perfect Run. For example:

• The title ‘Easy run’ makes certain our followers know that this is an intentionally slow effort for us; we can run much faster than this on any given day
• The title ‘Hilly run’ excuses any miles that are a bit out of whack with the rest of the entry
• The umbrella emoji humbly lets our friends and family know that, even in adverse weather conditions, we lace up our running shoes and complete a few laps of the local park
• Outlining the ‘calf niggle’ or ‘winter cold’ we have confirms that, no, I was not on top form today but will be once I’m back to good health
• Adding that this was on ‘tired legs’ means that, if you take the time to look back at this week’s entries, you’ll see that this 5k run is just the last few miles clocked in an otherwise very high mileage week

In us runners’ defence, Strava is where we go to be surrounded by people who are also searching for the next runner’s high. Whether at work, our mate’s wedding or an annual family gathering, people just aren’t interested in heartrate zones, our Parkrun personal best or the fact that, ‘One day I’ll run an ultramarathon’. And, trust me, we give it a good go. People don’t care – and rightly so. It’s boring! But, as we scroll through Strava, we’re part of a club of people who are also spending an inordinate amount of time crafting their training run’s description, or unashamedly competing with a local runner to take back first place on a specific segment, or joining countless Strava challenges to add to our long list of running accolades.

Sometimes I wonder if the world of running would be better off without Strava; a world without the wait for the ‘kudos’ to roll in or the public announcement that we ‘just became the local legend of’ a dreary road around the corner. But then I hit stop on my watch, document my run via Strava and the rush of a new PB hits me.

Man, I can’t wait for my 27 followers to see that!