The new normal


Uncategorized, Unkategorised

As instructed, the time has come to ease into ‘the new normal’ we were promised. Three foreign words we once said with a cringe or a roll of the eyes, not confident we were using them right, around about a year ago. The new normal we were told would come in time, if we were […]

May 10, 2021

Alexa, what does ‘bougie’ mean?


Uncategorized, Unkategorised

Yesterday, I used the word ‘bougie’ for the first time. It turns out I don’t really know what ‘bougie’ means. In the last month, as another lockdown has continued in the UK, I have: Mastered the piƱa colada (and decided I’m not into yoga) Invested in a new, semi-professional frisbee Learnt all the words to […]

February 6, 2021

Urgent support required


Kathventures

Good morning!   Hello! Hey Esther, Hi Esther, I’m so sorry to spring this on you, I type, my fingers speaking before my brain can catch up and rein in my instinct to apologise. Apologies for the tight turnaround, I opt for instead, even though it’s not my fault and I’m only sorry I’m the one who has to […]

December 6, 2020

Jingle Bell Lock(down)


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It’s November 30th and I’m sat, cross-legged on the sofa, admiring my Santa-red Christmas-pudding print pyjama bottoms, happily acknowledging the smudgy glow of yellowy fairy lights in my peripheral vision. Yes, it’s November and for the first time in my life, the Christmas tree is up, not just before December, but before December 12th. If […]

November 30, 2020

Lockdown Actually


Unkategorised

It’s a Saturday and it’s lockdown number two and plans for a socially distanced walk have been scuppered by the tentative, British November weather. The tentative, British November weather that means, by the time you’ve finished writing a message to your friend to say ‘It’s stopped raining!’, you’re interrupted by the pitter patter I used […]

November 14, 2020

Arriving today by 8PM


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The anticipation of waiting for an Amazon parcel has stepped up a notch since lockdown begun. Before, if I ended up being out somewhere or at work when a parcel was due, it was no biggie. The contents of that package was not the be all and end all. It was not the highlight of […]

July 3, 2020

A day in the life of furlough


Unkategorised

06:45: Just ignore your alarm. You set that before you spent two hours and twenty-seven minutes chastising yourself for retiring from cart-wheeling and bending your body into a ‘crab’ every day back when you were nine. Had you continued your infant gymnastics, you wouldn’t have pulled the whole of your lower body while practicing the […]

June 26, 2020

Shall we order a takeaway?


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“Shall we order a takeaway?” Aaron asks me, about six hours before we would actually consider picking up the phone to place an order. Our eyes duet, moving in unison before they fall upon my most recent regrettable purchase. The bathroom scales. The scales that betrayed I Literally Cannot Put on Weight Even if I […]

June 19, 2020

The garden party


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“What happened when a French chef ended up working in an Italian?” I looked at my brother. “He made spaguettes.” Jordan grinned. “What course did the Italian sign up to because he had an interest in language?” This time I looked at my mum, willing her to make it stop, but Jordan had cycled 70 […]

June 12, 2020

Five kilometres


The Adventures of a Kathlete

Every other day I run five kilometres. Sometimes I run ten kilometres but, when I do, I wish I was only running five. As I run, I imagine the days when I used to run 21 kilometres but I am only really writing that because I want to let you know that, before all of this, I used to […]

June 5, 2020